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Wednesday, January 30, 2008/ 10:04 PM i wish i was stronger. waalaikumsalam. i sit here and i don`t know how to tell you how i feel. i don`t deserve good things that happen to me cause eventually i screw it up. i don`t want to complain anymore. i just want to feel sey. i just want you to be happy. i just want you to be happy sey. i`m sorry. i don`t want to write how i feel here. i don`t want to tell the whole world. cause its for you only sey. for you`re eyes alone sey. i`m sorry if i have hurt you or embarrassed you. you know i didn`t mean it. its been so hard and hurtful for you sey. i just want all your pain to go away and never come back. but i don`t know how to anymore sey. i just don`t. help me won`t you? tell me what to so. i`m so clueless. sometimes the words you use make me misunderstand the meaning, makes me feel like you don`t want this. idk that`s what i think. my head hurts from all the crying and you`re sick because of me sey ): i`m sorry. i don`t deserve to be forgiven. i miss you. i miss us. i miss seeing you laugh. i miss everything uhh. i just want that back. and i know you want that too kan? we can get this back. i will work my ass off for this. i will do whatever it takes. i can`t see this waste away. i`m tired of not fighting cause i am a fighter la. i will fight okay. sampai mati pun okay sey. i know you will too. we`ll be rambo or something, boxers. whatever. i`ll fight okay. for every good thing that has happened. for every wonderful thing you have done. i will fight. just fight with me too ok? i need you. let`s make this work. and sharifah, thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder. it is better then me crying alone. and thanks for the confidence sey. from now on i am going to stop complaining. i won`t say a thing. its better that way. and we will revive the X-Men crew. somehow. i hope and pray that things get better. tkcr love. |
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