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Thursday, January 17, 2008/ 11:21 PM underneath it all  hello. i`m sorry its been a long time since i`ve blogged. i`ve been down with intestine flu/stomach flu/gastric flu. It sounds the same to me. And its damn painful. The nausea, the vomitting, the heart wrentching stomach aches. sigh. Anyway talking about pain. I have no right to complain. My close aunt, Mak Mek (hud`s mum) has cancer sey. I want to cry sey. AND YES I AM NOT OKAY. You know i remember the times when we were younger and huds and i would fight over every single thing and then Mak Mek will come and scold us but in a really nice way and then we`d make up just so that we can fight all over again. And every time my parents aren`t in town, she`d send food to our house sey just to make sure we are fed. Then i remember the time i got chicken pox in Melaka, she was the one who made sure my fever came down. And then she`d cook mee soto and then call the whole family for a gathering and it would be the best thing ever and how can we be okay if she`s not??? Life is so cruel. Then she made me the locket that i am wearing right now. How can i pretend like i am okay sey. I`m just as scread as everyone else. And my mum was crying sey when she found out. I cannot imagine Mak Mek without her beautiful hair. And i know she`s scared somehow but she is so so strong infront of us. And i know Mama is so afraid but still she just looks all calm and collected. And i am scared as hell because if what happened to nenek would happen to her i will cry my eyeballs out sey. And i swear it won`t be a pretty sight. Now the only thing i can do is pray for her. And i`m so luck that syafie will be praying too and so will sharifah sey. Thank you both so much for making me feel so much better and for giving me strength. And b, thank you for just being with me and understanding. i really wished i could go with you tomorrow for the suria thing and i need you to hold me and tell me that things will be okay):Sigh. Anyway yesterday i had class chalet. It was fun. I really miss sitting in the classroom with this bunch of sickos. They are a hell of a bunch of people. I think eating loads of satay and drinking loads of the punch makes me have a horrible headache yesterday. I came home and ate obat and straight away i koooooooooooooooo. I love our morning calls. I love the way your voice squeks in the morning. And i can see you walking sey. I miss you. I miss being there. sigh. Suddenly no more mood to blog. Shall continue tomorrow maybe? Sharifah darling, cheer up. We are here for you & you know things will get better. Its hard i know but cheer up yawwwwwwwwwww=D=D And b, really i don`t want that vintage bag anymore. hahaha. cause you know that all i want is you sey. that`s enough. forever. it will make me happy. so don`t say that money matters. cause you are what matters. and i love you for everything. for all the fights. for all the crying. for all the laughs. all the walks. for everything. i love you limitlessly. and i wouldn`t have it any other way. i love you ahmad syafie bin sheik najib bagharib. you are my world. So many moons that we have seen, stumbling back next to me. I've seen right through and underneath and you make me better. You are my real Prince Charming. Like the heat from the fire, you were always burning and each time you're around my body keeps staling for your touch, your kisses and your sweet romancing. There's an underside to you that so many adore, aside from your temper. Everything else secure. You're good for me, baby. Oh that, I'm sure, over and over again, I want more.You're really lovely, underneath it all. You want to love me, underneath it all. |
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