Hello. I just realise what a hateful person i am. Sharifah was pm-ing me and i was angry about things at sch and all and then she told me to list down all the things i hate. And i did. And i didn`t realise i was full of hatred ): I hate what i am becoming. I don`t want to hate. I just want to love and be happy. I want to be me. Hating is so not me. Sigh. I`m so pathetic -_-

I don`t believe that my mum will be away in Japan in like a month or so. Sigh. I will miss her sey. I want to cry sey. Who will be my pillar of strength when i cry at home? Who will laugh at my lameness and pretend to punch me then laugh at my reaction? Who will worry about me whn i come home late from school? Who will tell me to work hard? Who will give me motivating notes? Who will ask me to water her plants and wash the dishes and do the laundry? I miss her already. She cooked for me today. I`m so happy. Cause she knows i hate MI`s food. So i was super hungry. Thanks mah, i love you!

Ahmad Syafie, i`m so lucky to have you and still i take you for granted. i want to beat myself up because of that. I should be making you the happiest person alive. Thanks for seeing me just now. Your hoodie makes me happy. I need to see you smile again. Just now was like different. Seeing you and all after qute a long time. I miss you sey. I miss you. The happy you. I miss you la. I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! i miss you. Please let me make you happy. Stay with me cause i am nothing without you. I can`t even be a day without you. It would just kill me. I watch the boy whom i love so much, the boy whom i want to marry walk away like that and i will stop him now. And make sure he stays. Sigh. I need faith. I need you. I miss you. I love you with all my heart sey.

sharifah nabila binte syed azman, thank you for the long awaited hug tadi. it meant so much to me that you missed me as much as i missed you. thanks for the hug. I can`t wait to have lunch tomorrow if jadi but makcik i going alter my skirt with syaf ok. I hope he will follow.

I miss ahmad syafie terribly ): ): ):

I don't mind where you come from as long as you come to me. I don't like illusions I can't see them clearly. I don't mind. I don't care. As long as you're here. And I'll take you for who you are. If you take me for everything. Do it all over again. It's all the same. Hours slide and days go by till you decide to come and in between it always seems too long And I have the skill, yeah I have the will to breathe you in while I can. However long you stay is all that I am. I don`t mind. I don`t care. As long as you`re here.