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Friday, February 1, 2008/ 11:57 PM run away this time without you  I`d do anything for you to look at me that way. I`d do anything to see you laugh. I`d do anything to see your impersonations. I`d do anything to see your funny faces. I`d do anything for you to feel oh so comfortable with me. I`d do anything for you to need me. i`d do anything for you to let me take care of you. I`d do anything for things to be better. I`d do anything sey. If only you knew. Oh well, it rained heavily today. Well it practically rained the whole day. I curled in my bed most of the morning and half of the afternoon. I didn`t want to get out of bed sey. Sigh. I stayed wide awake in bed till 3.30 sey. I really don`t know what i was doing. My head hurt a lot when i got up. I cried in the shower. Haha. Pathetic sey. But Babah was a sweetheart sey. I think he somehow knew i wasn`t okay so we cooked together. Sigh. I love cooking with him sey. He makes the best tasting food in the world. And i felt better. I really did. Then the rain made me so sad. And then because i was feeling lonely and depressed i watched my favourite movie, 50 First Dates. I don`t care how many times i watch that movie, i will never get bored of it. Haha. Then sharifah texted and ajak kuar. So Babah sent me to her house. (Thanks Bah) I played with Farah and Insyirah. I felt a little better. Then when we went to Downtown and waited for the others. I don`t think we had fun at all today. Somehow we`re all so incomplete. We`re all falling apart in silence. Each and everyone of us and somehow we are so good at pretending that everything is okay. I honestly think i`m falling apart and i don`t know how to pick up the pieces. I feel so tired lately. I feel so immune sometimes. Then when you say things that just hurt, i just don`t want to listen anymore. Then you ask me not to say things that i don`t mean. Sigh. I meant it sey. Its just that you couldn`t see. Today was shitty without you okay. I`m being downright honest. And i know you don`t believe me. But still, i don`t want to force you to believe me anymore. I had to go out sey. I need to breathe. All i do all day is clean and rot at home. And i`m not saying this for the sake of saying it sey. After typing the paragraph on top, i feel like slashing it away and deleting it. Maybe i will slash and delete it tomorrow. I wonder whether you still read our blog. I wonder if you still are here ): Would someone please walk through with me?I 've got nothing to hide, nowhere to be. Why do we have to come through here cause nothing leads me to you. Cause you are nothing what you seem. You're always looking out for me. You'll never contemplate that I am near and help goes unseen. You're a cave, admitting who you choose and I could be there for you. I could be there for you, if only you`d let me. i can`t help but to miss you this terribly ): |
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