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Sunday, May 4, 2008/ 8:57 PM hometown heroes Hellooooo. I am feeling better today. You won`t believe this but i actually watched Om Shanti Om for three days straight. I swear i can watch it over and over again and not get bored. Sigh. I`ve been trying to cheer myself up. Don`t worry. I`ll be okay. Eventually. I actually had many things that i wanted to say just now. Haha. Well isn`t that just typical of me? I did not do my malay homework (DIE!!!) & i have not eaten. So i shall eat after this. And i won`t do my stupid malay karangan. I`ll do it tomorrow then i guess. Do you know how much i freaking hate malay? Oh damn it i just remembered that i have econs homework to do. Oh screw homework. Sometimes i wish i was in poly then i wouldn`t be like this. Tonnes of writing to do. As much as i like writing i DO NOT want to write anymore about anything. Can everything just like disappear into thin air? It would be a miracle. Sharifah hopes that it would rain tomorrow and every other day for that matter. Oh how i wish for that too. The rain makes me think of you. Oh well. Screw that too. Haha. I wish i was strong. I want to be strong. I want to be a fighter. Haha. But now macam weak only then how? Sigh. I can`t wait to ge away from here. I can`t wait to go see mama in Japan. The months without her are just terrible. Every bad thing happened when she wasn`t around. Maybe if she was here i`d be stronger but i do not want her to worry. I hope she knows that i will be okay eventually. I wish there was no such thing as waking up to reality. I`d rather live a dream then be here now. I just want to say thank you to everyone for worrying and giving a damn about me. Ahmad thank you. I have too many things to say to you but its just not appropriate to say it here. Sharifah i`m sorry if i hurt you, I didn`t mean too. I promise you. Thank you for never leaving me to die alone and hurt and cry by myself. Mila, i don`t know how you can stand my temper. I`m sorry about venting my anger and sorrow on you. Hemani & Abby thanks for always making me feel better. Maybe im miserable but somehow its getting better. And ahmad i know that you are too. I shall try to help you stay happy. You`ll get through this year and i`ll try to be there by your side till the end of time. I`ll work my fucking ass off. This i swear. I think i am like super duper sensitive now eh? haha. So pathetic. I must try my best to be happy. I have many things now which i do not appreciate so i should start. Haha. Oh and i think my knee is getting a little better. I`m wearing some medicated plaster thingy. THE SMELL IS REVOLTING. I feel like vomiting and fainting. I hate the smell. Oh and i`m starting to really love floorball. For the game and the team somehow. And i think abby has a lame crush on mr siva!! Haha. SUPERMAN -__-" It's four am, I'm waking up to your perfume. Don't get up, I'll get through on my own. I don't know if I'm home or if I lost the way into your room. I'm spiraling into my doom. I'm feeling half alive but I know one day you and I will be free. To live and die by our own rules. Free. Despite the fact that men are fools. I'm almost alive, and I need you to try and save me. It's okay that we're dying. But I need to survive tonight, tonight. Well excuse me while I get killed softly. Heart slows down and I can hardly tell you I'm okay. At least till yesterday. You know you got me off my highest guard. Believe me when I say it's hard. We'll get through this tonight and I know one day you and I will be free to live and die by our own rules. Despite the fact that men are fools. And you touch my hand ever so slightly. We're not ready for this yet. And the deadly look he cast upon me. I won't regret, I won't regret. And I was trying to disappear. But you got me wrapped around you. I can hardly breathe without you. I was trying to disappear but I got lost in your eyes now. You brought me down to size now. i still can see you holding your guitar, looking straight at me and you winked. I can`t forget you. |
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